Some of you may have heard that Dr Phil (an American talk show host) recently claimed that #100outof100 interabled relationships FAIL! So I am jumping on the bandwagon to show the world just how inaccurate this statement is!
When Felix & I first started dating, I was very hesitant to tell him the true extent of my disability. However, in time I had no choice but to open up as some things cannot be hidden. I assumed at this point that Felix would walk away, but he didn’t. I honestly thought he was crazy! But Felix never saw my disability as a problem; in fact he quite likes being challenged when someone tells us we can’t do something!
Dating someone with a complex disability is obviously challenging, exhausting & frustrating at times; especially during one of my flare ups as I require 24 hour care. Something I still find very difficult, as you can feel like such a burden; yet Felix never hesitates to help me & rarely complains. He has had to make a few sacrifices along the way in order to care for me, but he never makes me feel guilty about depending on him. He simply gets on with the problem at hand, whilst trying to make me smile along the way. We have been through more than most couples experience in a lifetime, but it is these experiences that have strengthened our relationship.
From the moment I met Felix he has taught me to make the most of every day, no matter how rubbish things were! For example, during some of my toughest hospital admissions Felix would bring date night to the hospital! He would bring our favourite food, movies and home comforts just to make my day a little brighter. Even if I only managed a few mouthfuls of dinner, or I fell asleep during the film; it was a welcomed distraction.
As I mentioned at the start of this post, Felix loves a challenge! Very early on in our relationship I told Felix about the long list of places I would love to visit., but because travelling is difficult when you have a complex disability, I was unsure if I’d ever manage it. As always, Felix didn’t seemed phased by any of this! So together we have travelled to Boston, Vermont, Massachusetts, New York, Florida, Paris, London and more! We have encountered SO many challenges/emergencies along the way (I would be writing for days if I tried to include some examples), but we never let it ruin our experience! So apart from the fact that we have to plan the day around my medications and treatments, we may have to stop & rest due to the sudden onset of pain, or work around access issues; we are still a normal couple who enjoy having dinner together, seeing the sites during our travels and having fun.
Aside from the caring component of our relationship, we also go through everything normal couples experience. My disability is a huge part of both of our lives, but we are together because we like certain things about each other. Not because Felix wants to be my Carer. My disability does not define me & underneath the medical devices, pain & problems I am just Lauren. Sadly this is something many people forget, but Felix has never had a problem with looking past my diagnosis. He has taught me to accept the fact that we do things differently & not to care what others think! Instead we make the most of every day, even when I’m at my worst! So take that Dr Phil! 👊🏻♿️❤️