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Christmas Reflections

Dec 20, 2021

* This post is written by one of our volunteer content creators.*

* TRIGGER WARNING: Alcoholism. *

Hi guys! I hope you are all good and well, especially given the time of year with Christmas looming. It's a hard time for us all in our different ways, it's just rarely talked about. See, my journey as Adam comes in parts I find, and one of those parts is referring to this time one year ago. Comparing where I am today, who I very much am today, and where I hope to be in another year's time.

This time a year ago through the bottom of a bottle, I found myself at The Mad Hatters Tea Party, deeply feeling the grip of the glass staring at the bottom - only in my case, the poison was alcohol. I was fast finding myself a seat at the top of the table ready to have my final dinner with the Grim Reaper himself! Alcohol was my default, my go-to if you like. On my final and worst visit to the hospital, my heart rate was so high and in such a crazy rhythm that I was in real danger of cardiac arrest. Meaning, it could have very likely have been curtains closed for McDonald. Making that party quickly come to a very sobering end.

If you're reading this and can relate first hand, you’re either a dead man walking or you're a walking miracle. and got to where I am today. Either way, good on you! Then for those of you reading this that can’t relate, kiss the floor and be thankful.

Fast forward a year and look at me guys! Going on with my life, writing monthly blogs for Access Your Life, and hopefully giving you an alternative perspective on trans issues. Maybe even giving you a laugh while I’m at it! I'm 45, I’m a veteran, I have PTSD, I have a good life, and I'm getting busy LIVING because I was at that table with that grim reaper, and I chose life over the demon liquor. Instead, I get my initial one-to-one appointment at the gender clinic next week, which will hopefully lead to a straight forward journey towards getting my top surgery.

Wherever you are in life, whatever you are dealing with, join me in having thanks and gratitude for those who help save the lives of “people like me” from surrendering their lives to the bottom of a bottle. Also, thanks to loved ones and family who continually support us whilst battling our demons. Because without either of these support structures, we could become just another statistic when instead we create another warrior another survivor.

Christmas isn’t always about family, nor is family about being blood. It’s a time to send the most powerful of messages to those we hold dear. Love is love guys, regardless of how we show it or indeed whom we choose to show it to. Just a little festive food for thought for you there! All the best for the New Year, guys. I'm so excited to see what the next year brings!

Love & Light - Adam x

* To catch up with my previous blog posts, please click HERE! *

A pale yellow banner with information on the writer of this blog - Adam! Along with an image of Adam sitting on a sofa with a ginger cat on his lap. He is wearing a grey t-shift and smiling directly at the camera. The text reads: Hi, I'm Adam. A 45 year old Trans British Army Veteran living with Complex PTSD. My journey so far has taken me through a period of Transmutation between my mental health and my true authentic self, beyond the conformity of gender. I'm excited to share my journer, whilst helping others to speak as who they are, irrespective of fear or prejudice.